So this is Day 1, right?

Yes, in other words, the weekend was a bust. I simply don't want to talk about it.

too hungry to think of a title

Last night, not so good. Dinner at Great Northern Pizza Kitchen. Did I stop at one slice? No. Two? No. Just had to take a couple bites from slice three. The most pathetic part, I wasn't even loving their pizza. *sigh*

So, we're going to Pizza Hut tonight (Gray's choice because it's still part of his birthday treat--his friend couldn't sleep over last Friday, so we're doing it tonight). And I actually do LOVE their pizza. It's not looking good. Just not looking good.

Here's the plan. Salad bar (despite how lousy a salad bar it is) and two slices of pizza and water. Yeah, not exactly going to put me in contention for "dieter of the year" but it is better than the two breadsticks and the two-three slices of pizza and the Coke that I'll be wishing I could have, right?

*****
As for the unsweetened coffee and tea...I've actually stuck to it so far. And I'm still hating it. How long is it they say it takes to "acquire" a taste for something?

grrrrr

Wonder how long it's going to take to reacquire an appreciation for black coffee. 'Cause I'm telling you, this morning I'm HATING it. And it's making turning me into one very cranky woman.

oops!

Sure hope I don't have too many posts with that title!

Anyway, this whole "actually paying attention to what I put in my body" thing is going to take some getting used to. I fix myself a mug of tea, proudly forgoing all sweeteners. :D Yeah, well then a few minutes later I reach in the pantry and grab a huge handful of Baked Lays. Didn't even dawn on me what I'd done until after I'd eaten them. WTH?!!!

Obviously, I have a loooooooong way to go here...

what's a little embarrassment, right?

Okay, so I have this incredibly beautiful, incredibly talented, incredibly generous, incredibly awesome friend. Her name is Kara. And in case, you didn't pick up on it, she's incredible. (Don't even try to let her tell you otherwise!)

Anyway, she's decided to start on a rigorous journey. The journey of weight loss. I've decided to tag along. Yes, I've tried to make this journey numerous times in the past. Never got too far down the road. So, why try again? Because Kara has this amazing way of making things happen. She's a freakin' dynamo, if you want to know the truth! And I'm hoping some of that will rub off on me. And hey, it's a lot easier to battle the "demons" (aka cupcake cravings) when you don't feel so alone.

And why the blog? Well, in a word, accountability. I'm hoping the strategy will pay off. I promise not to lie. Not to make it sound as if I'm doing better than I actually am. Nope. I'll stick with the whole ugly truth. And hope like hell that the sheer embarrassment of it all will keep me in line.

The details? Well, I don't have them worked out. I probably won't follow any "diet plan" or anything. I likely won't even count calories or anything. Honestly, I'm just too lazy for that. But I'm hoping to implement one "change" per week. Along with just trying to 1.) watch my portion sizes (embarrassing admission #1: I can't seem to stop eating until I'm stuffed to the gills) and 2.) snack healthier (embarrassing admission #2: given the choice between a candy bar and an apple, I'll pick the candy bar 9 times out of 10).

My change for this week: No more sugar or artificial sweeteners in my coffee. :(

Okay, and now for the whopper of embarrassing admissions: My current weight is 224 pounds.

My goal: I would be thrilled if I could get down to 125 pounds. But one thing I want to mention--I do NOT for one second believe that one has to be thin to be beautiful!!! Yes, I admit that I'll be happy if I lose weight and find it easier to find clothes I like at the thrift store. Yes, I admit that I do tend to be hard on myself for being fat...though I don't judge others in the same way I judge myself. Yes, I admit that it would feel good to not feel so judged all the time. But honestly, bottom line--I know that for my health I need to lose this weight. Many people can be perfectly healthy when they are overweight. But I'm predisposed to both diabetes and high blood pressure. So yeah, it's time to try this journey again.